More Than a Tear

Heavy-hearted, is how some people would explain the feeling I seem to walk around with lately. Maybe it is a mild case of depression that doesn't go away. Maybe it's the gloomy, cold mornings, cold showers and cold cereal for breakfast. Then it could be the cold affection, from those, who you once thought were close to you. Maybe the feeling comes from 'CHANGE'? The many changes that occur throughout one's life that are 'less' than expected. Unfulfilled expectations; in me and those around me? Do I expect more from 'ME' and not accomplish the task? Or, is it those around me that don't seem to care? Are my daily tasks so minimal that no-one notices? Is it that I feel there is more to life than just existing? Is it the world's events that bring me down? Only God knows! All I know is the lost, empty feeling that goes along with the heavy-heartiness that I seem to carry these days.

I am grateful for all that God has done for me and my family, and I am thankful I woke up this morning, but I just can't shake this 'Blue' feeling. I am NOT feeling sorry for myself in anyway, I just want to smile and laugh every now and then. I want to be the person I used to be! But, it is not there, I lost that person, somewhere along the way.

I am not a so-called 'people person', so surrounding myself in like-people is not the answer. They bring me even more grief; as I seem to compare their smiles with the lack of mine!

Getting creative with craft-projects aren't the answer, either. Now you have to find someone to take all the things your hands have created. You could land up with a basement full of finished craft projects that don't have a home. Give them away? I've tried!

Volunteering somewhere or anywhere only causes you obligation. That causes more pressure. I do not need pressure at this point.

I will be the first to tell you, I know I don't have 'it all together', but I was wondering if anyone else has been there and what they did to get out of this sort of place? This is not the shade of blue I was expecting!!!!